I was commenting to some friends that this feels all too sudden. I’m not ready for my time at Regent to end. For awhile it seemed that it would NEVER end. But now with this final paper due in a couple days, and all the pressure and anxiety mounting up to the end of term, I sense that the end will come all too soon.
“It’s kinda like labour, huh?” – said a friend [I should write “labor” since she’s American].
I suppose, though I am not going to presume that my studies for the last 3 years is any where near the equivalent of being pregnant and bringing a new person to the world. On the surface it seems that all I’m getting out of this is a piece of paper. In reality, it is I that is being made new. My apologies, it sounds cliche (and one can never use cliches if you’re a graduate student, especially at Regent). But I am different now for having come here – to Vancouver, to Regent, to my church, to this place of searching and discovery….
Though, I am still who I am. Same habits, same fears, same pride, same sarcasm (though with new vocabulary!), and same laughter. And thankfully, the same desire to know what it means to love God and to love his people. But I have been in the process of un-learning and re-learning, of being deconstructed and restored, of becoming who I was meant to become…. and it seems that I’m still somewhat narcissistic.
I think there will be a future blog about some of the things I’ve learned, like using “ontological” in a school newspaper article. But it’ll take a bit of time to unearth the more subtle lessons… and time is not what I have right now. Instead, I must go into the delivery room and give birth to one last paper.
Here’s to all my fellow labouring peers: Press on! It will be worth it in the end (so they tell me).