Happy SAD (Singles Awareness Day)!

Love Tree Well it’s that day again. A day to be reminded your marital or non-marital status. Contrary to what many people may think, I’m really not bitter. I’ve spent enough years lamenting my singleness, this isn’t one of them. I’ve come a long, long ways my friends. Praise God.

I have been going on dates thanks to the internet and well-intentioned Christians. It’s a bizarre world out there for the single, female, pastor. I feel like I’m between the working professional and the single mom. My vocation blends the responsibilities of the two. It’s hard enough navigating the dating waters as a woman in her 30’s… but with the spiritual care of a congregation on my plate it adds a whole host of other considerations.

I’ve been in communication with someone who is very keen to be with me, and I find myself considering once again what’s really important in a relationship. With him being a number of years younger, I wonder how much to bank on his capacity to grow and mature, and to what extent is formal education “required.” What really matters in the end when we’re both grey and bent with years? Or when our child strays or rebels against our authority? Or when one of us falls ill or loses vision? Or when the excitement of romance fizzles and new affections knock at our door(s)? I suspect that degrees and age differences matter very little then.

In any case, I know I’ll need convincing to give up the single life. The question is… what do I need to be convinced?

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2 thoughts on “Happy SAD (Singles Awareness Day)!

  1. reigh says:

    Fun yarn bombed tree! Yes the single life is pretty good…even as a married person I say enjoy it. ha ha. And so you are.
    What is “a number of years younger” exactly? Someone asked me once “Can he lead and would you follow?” I’ve also added “But will I look like his mother?” into the considerations. đŸ˜‰

  2. Margaret says:

    As someone who has dated older men, one 20 yrs my senior when I was in my mid-40’s and another 7 yrs in my early 50’s, I did notice that the age difference had some impact. With the 20 yrs span, we had little we could relate to except that we both loved the Lord and were very involved with our individual congregations. With the more recent experience of only 7 yrs, what stood out was different energy levels and he just moving slower than I, when it came to driving & outdoor activities. At first I tried not to let it bother me, but after a bit I felt like I was with my Dad.
    In my opinion and observations, guys just take a lot longer to mature and know what they want. The two younger guys that seemed interested in me, I was able to discern what they really were looking for was another ‘mother’ & be the main breadwinner.
    Whatever you do, don’t make excuses to date someone or stay in a relationship, just for companionship & to get affection or attention. It never ends well.
    Your best bet is to do things with groups so you can observe the person without any pressure on either of you.
    I’m in the midst of exploring interests I’ve always had and want to find out where it might lead. Also trying to get involved in groups with individuals I don’t know at all but are in a safe environment. It is an attempt to stretch myself out of my comfort zone and meet new people while having a good time, I hope. You may want to consider that.
    May you discern the leading of the Holy Spirit and have the strength to follow.
    Blessings!

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